‘I do!’…. Financial vows that every couple should make
Marriage is not all about physical and emotional intimacy. It’s not only a union of your hearts but of your pockets as well.
‘AS soon as I saw my husband carrying another shopping bag for the third time in a month, I knew we had a problem,” Lisa exclaimed. Lisa and Andy are newlyweds who have been married for over five months. The marriage seems to be smooth sailing and romance is painted all over the couple’s faces until Lisa finds out that his loving husband has a spending problem. “I don’t hate him for having more shoes than I have, but what angers me is to make this shocking discovery that he has a P100,000 unpaid credit-card debt mostly from branded clothes and shoes purchases and the amount he spends for these things are way beyond his pay grade!”
Surprises are meant to cheer us up and not the opposite. Lisa and Andy’s case is not a unique one, in fact, in the US, the issue of money is one of the usual suspects for divorce and situation in the Philippines is no different. In a culture where money conversations are still considered taboo over dinner tables, it’s no surprise that most Filipino couples are struggling to talk openly about the subject with their partners.
Marriage is not all about physical and emotional intimacy. It’s not only a union of your hearts but of your pockets as well. It is for this reason that every couple should also have their own financial vows with their partners along with their romantic vows.
Here are 4 financial vows to keep your relationship in harmony:
1. “I vow to communicate with you about financial matters.”—“We are not financially compatible! He likes to spend and I want to save!” Compatibility has nothing to do with it. Make conscious effort to sit down and discuss finances with your partner calmly, whether or not your money personality matches. This includes letting each other know where you are in terms of your savings and debts. Do not let pride get into your way of telling your partner about any financial problem you are dealing with. A “financial hiccup” can lead to a “financial heart attack” if not dealt with early on. Problems are easier to handle when you do it as a team.
2. “I vow to establish mutual financial goals with you.”—Start building your dreams together. These can be buying your own home, clearing debt obligations, saving for your kid’s education or taking that dream vacation. Setting up and agreeing on your financial goals together will not only provide you with a clear vision of your future but will also help in strengthening your bond as partners. It gives “partnership” a deeper meaning as both of you works hand in hand in fulfilling your shared goals. Make sure that your goals are clearly defined, put tag prices on those goals and be certain on your timelines. My wife and I have this shared dream of providing an all-out birthday party for our 3-month-old daughter when she reaches the age of 7. We did the math and agreed to contribute P500 every time our daughter celebrates her “monthsary” to fulfill that dream. This activity not only excites us but also motivates us to work together because our goal is clear, quantifiable and has a defined timeline.
3. “I vow to stick with our spending plan.”—Sure, planning your monthly budget is not as exciting as planning for your date night, but keeping tabs on your expenses is a crucial part in making your financial dream a reality. A spending plan is a great tool in managing the way you utilize your money. It helps you control and monitor your cash outflow. In creating your spending plan, start by agreeing on how much to spend on each of your expense items and encourage each other to stick to the plan. This also includes assigning roles to each other like who will oversee the plan, the one going to the bank to pay the bills, etc.
4. “I vow to let you have your own ‘feel good fund.’”—Combining your finances is one important step in making your relationship feel united. By having a joint account, you become one with your partner in the way you handle your finances. It breeds unity and trust, as well. However, merging your finances doesn’t mean that you cannot enjoy some degree of financial independence. Couples should still have their own cash to spend for themselves. Set some ground rules for your “feel good fund,” like how much you should allocate for this type of fund and the description of “feel good.” Giving each other a level of financial autonomy is just like saying, “I understand that some of your wants are unique from mine and I’d love to see you enjoy the fruits of our labor.”
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Jesi Bondoc is a Registered Financial Planner of RFP Philippines. He is the current Director of My Wealth MD and Partners Inc. and a columnist in Money Sense Magazine and Business Mirror.
Source: http://www.businessmirror.com.ph/index.php/en/business/banking-finance/35792-i-do-financial-vows-that-every-couple-should-make
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